Phavur's Diaries(Vol 5)
I returned to sleep almost immediately as I couldn’t even process anything she said; I was very troubled in my sleep and got up to pray. I asked God to take the burden away from my heart as it was too heavy. I really don’t know why I felt betrayed its not like I had accepted his request to be his girlfriend, but then he’s still my friend and should have told me. I felt like God wasn’t hearing me, I knew I was even guilty as I only talked to him whenever I felt the need to. So I just slept with so much tears in my eyes for the first time after meeting Olatunde.
I suddenly remembered after a long time Tunde’s younger brother Mide, when I woke up the next morning but then I was scared to call him, I didn’t even know what to say to him, I abandoned him after I met Tunde, but then I was really heartbroken or should I say depressed. I picked up my phone and dialed his number but it was his friend who answered the call saying he had forgotten his phone and had gone to get something to eat , I got down on my kneels afterwards to pray but the words were not just coming so I freshened up and went downstairs to greet my parents and my sister. She was really excited to see me and pulled me in for an embrace which I didn’t respond to. I went about my house chores and thereafter prepared lunch. The slap, the messages and unanswered calls kept going through my mind. I am not sure if there was anything else for me to think about. It troubled me so much that I resolved to take a stroll up my street. On my way out, I met Mide, who was just returning from getting what to eat. He spoke to me really nicely and asked where I was going; I told him I was just taking a stroll up the street in the bid to ease stress. He offered to walk with me which I readily accepted. I asked him about Tunde, but he didn’t reply and then I asked him again but he still wouldn’t say anything so I just kept quiet. After about 10 mins later, I felt I had forgotten about the incident so we returned home. On my way in, he squeezed my palms and said “Favour you are a strong girl prove it”, then he smiled and walked away.
I couldn’t fathom why he said that but I guess I really needed those words, I thought I had lost it all, my strength, my passion, my esteem even my pride. I went up to my room, curled myself on the bed and cried. His words kept ringing in my head, but how was I supposed to prove that I am a strong girl, why and to whom should I prove my strength. I slept off again with so much tears in my eyes. By the time I had woken up it was past dinner time and I could hear the hungry worms in my tummy threatening to eat up my insides if I didn’t provide food for them. So I went downstairs and had a bowl of cereal, just as I was about to go up to my room, my mum came into the kitchen. She noticed my red eyes and asked what the problem was, but I just told her that an insect got into them, and I was fine.
Mide’s words kept ringing in my head, I didn’t even know how to be strong anymore, I wasn’t close to God again, I hadn’t spoken to my mentor in a while so I felt it was stupid to call him now, my mum on the other hand was totally out of it she wouldn’t even hear that I had a boy as my friend. So I decided to call Mide by the way he was the one that said those words to me and I needed him to tell me where and how he saw strength in me, I dialed his number expecting to hear his voice on the other end, but it was Tunde who answered it. He said “Favor please I need to see you, we need to talk please”. I kept silent and after he had talked I ended the call. He called me several times afterwards, which I didn’t answer and then he sent a message to me with the same words he said on the phone, this time with a crying emoji. I guess he had made his way really deep inside my heart, I couldn’t hold back so I replied the message asking him where and when we could meet. He sent me another message that he would get back to me the next day.
I suddenly remembered after a long time Tunde’s younger brother Mide, when I woke up the next morning but then I was scared to call him, I didn’t even know what to say to him, I abandoned him after I met Tunde, but then I was really heartbroken or should I say depressed. I picked up my phone and dialed his number but it was his friend who answered the call saying he had forgotten his phone and had gone to get something to eat , I got down on my kneels afterwards to pray but the words were not just coming so I freshened up and went downstairs to greet my parents and my sister. She was really excited to see me and pulled me in for an embrace which I didn’t respond to. I went about my house chores and thereafter prepared lunch. The slap, the messages and unanswered calls kept going through my mind. I am not sure if there was anything else for me to think about. It troubled me so much that I resolved to take a stroll up my street. On my way out, I met Mide, who was just returning from getting what to eat. He spoke to me really nicely and asked where I was going; I told him I was just taking a stroll up the street in the bid to ease stress. He offered to walk with me which I readily accepted. I asked him about Tunde, but he didn’t reply and then I asked him again but he still wouldn’t say anything so I just kept quiet. After about 10 mins later, I felt I had forgotten about the incident so we returned home. On my way in, he squeezed my palms and said “Favour you are a strong girl prove it”, then he smiled and walked away.
I couldn’t fathom why he said that but I guess I really needed those words, I thought I had lost it all, my strength, my passion, my esteem even my pride. I went up to my room, curled myself on the bed and cried. His words kept ringing in my head, but how was I supposed to prove that I am a strong girl, why and to whom should I prove my strength. I slept off again with so much tears in my eyes. By the time I had woken up it was past dinner time and I could hear the hungry worms in my tummy threatening to eat up my insides if I didn’t provide food for them. So I went downstairs and had a bowl of cereal, just as I was about to go up to my room, my mum came into the kitchen. She noticed my red eyes and asked what the problem was, but I just told her that an insect got into them, and I was fine.
Mide’s words kept ringing in my head, I didn’t even know how to be strong anymore, I wasn’t close to God again, I hadn’t spoken to my mentor in a while so I felt it was stupid to call him now, my mum on the other hand was totally out of it she wouldn’t even hear that I had a boy as my friend. So I decided to call Mide by the way he was the one that said those words to me and I needed him to tell me where and how he saw strength in me, I dialed his number expecting to hear his voice on the other end, but it was Tunde who answered it. He said “Favor please I need to see you, we need to talk please”. I kept silent and after he had talked I ended the call. He called me several times afterwards, which I didn’t answer and then he sent a message to me with the same words he said on the phone, this time with a crying emoji. I guess he had made his way really deep inside my heart, I couldn’t hold back so I replied the message asking him where and when we could meet. He sent me another message that he would get back to me the next day.
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